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Escape from Paradise - Gwendolyn Field It's my longest rant yet, so you better fasten your seat belts ;-).

Did not get it and did not like it. I haven't found anything that made much sense to me.

Although my reading buddies, and quite a few of my GR friends, enjoyed the story, I did not. I did not like and couldn't connect to any of the characters in the story. I think my biggest problem was the writing and author's limited vocabulary. Don't worry, irony is not lost on me, I know I'm not the one that should be pointing that out, I don't have the broadest vocabulary out there, but I read a lot and I know a good thing when I see it ;-). I didn't like the writing, it was too simple for this type of story and for my taste.
A lot of the times our heroine, Angela, sounded more like a 14 year old boy rather then 20 year old collage student. The way she described surroundings and people was both comical and annoying. There were too many "boobs" and "crotches" for my liking.
"But he only wanted to inspect my boobs for himself."
"Quick glance at her boobs told me they were not real."
"It was strange and distracting sitting across the table from Perla's boobs."
"She cupped her hands under my boobs."
"I closed my eyes and squeezed my boobs."
That last quote cracked me up. She sounded like a teenage boy who woke up one morning in a woman's body and started rubbing himself.
I don't know, maybe it's just me, but I didn't like the way she used the word, and that she used it at all. No one past age 14 should use a word "boob" in a serious conversation.

And then there were crotches:
"The crotch rubbing."
"To my horror she stared right at my crotch."
"His face went to my crotch."
"Too many weird dreams and nightmares and waking up with my crotch throbbing."
"I pushed my hips against the hardness at his crotch."
"My crotch was (…) and (…)."
"As my crotch continue… (…)."

I found Angela to be too vulgar for a beat down slave. She suppose to be this broken woman, who was captured, held against her will, abused and dehumanized. More often than not she sounded like it wasn't that big of a deal. I was annoyed when she, while "waiting" to be raped, managed to ogle men in the room and analyze their physical features, who's hot and who's not. Sometimes she even described some of her abusers as hot, attractive, nice and sexy.

"With that hard-on and the serious look on his face, he was attractive guy."
Yeah, they all look smoking hot when they are about to rape a woman. There must be something attractive about a man who thinks that a woman is less worthy than a dog.
How in a world can she find him attractive when he is about to brutalize her?!
I don't understand why author felt the need to point out that Angela's rapist was attractive. Who would want to be raped by an ugly guy, am I right *major eye roll*? It was ridiculous and completely unnecessary.

First Angela says:
"But in real life there was nothing sexy about rape."Finally, a thing that we both agree on.

But then, later, she starts saying things like:
"Oh shit. This was so hot."
"I didn't hate it, I kind of liked it."
"It was nice." or "Sexy", or "Hot"
"And then his shirt came off. Oh, yes, yes, yes."
Honey, did you forgot that you suppose to be a victim here?
"The most perfect c@ck in existence." WTF?
That pissed me off to no end. I seriously doubt, that a persona in her situation, would say something like that in real life.

"This guy was seriously hot."
"Nobody who came here was ever hot."

Oh, you poor thing. There weren't any hot rapists? Would that have made your slavery easier, to be raped and beaten by a hottie??!! Come on!

So that was Angela. Now let me tell you about another piece of work name Colin (or Collin, apparently author haven't made up her mind about the name yet) Douglas. It's a Scottish name and should be spelled with one "l", but sometimes he was Collin and other times Colin. I didn't find anything interesting about either of them :-).
He is undercover agent extraordinaire. He doesn't have any formal education, but is the best undercover agent on the field. One day, he gets a job offer, after finding his brother and impressing the hell out of agency with his story."I'm offering you the opportunity to become an undercover agent with MI-6."Just like that. Does that agency have any requirements at all? All he did was told them how he found his brother and boom, the job is his. He could have been telling them fairytales and talking out of his ass. They just took his word for it.
"He was smart, unlike many of the uneducated idiots on the streets."
We have quite high opinion about ourself, don't we? Remind me again, where did you got your "education", smartass? Wasn't it on the very same streets, among thugs, that you now looking down on?

He gives all new meaning to the phrase "Chick magnet".
"Women of all classes flocked to him."
"He couldn't seem to escape the women he'd been with, even here in Spain."

What is it about this guy? I didn't get it.
But wait, it's not just women.
"Colin was use to men eyeballing him."
Self-absorbed and self-centered much? I mean, who is this guy???

At the age of 28 he is thinking about retiring. He feels like he achieved everything there was to achieve, got filthy rich and is done. Very attractive quality in a man: a man with no plans and no ambitions. Real catch.

He desides to take one last job, to find a missing woman, Angela. You don't really know how he menages to get to her, but next thing you know, he is sitting with Señor Acosta and asking if he knows a place where he can find a woman who won't nag him after sex.
"I need a woman, but I don't want to have to listen to her after we f@ck, aye?"
Colin said he was willing to pretend and say anything that that dude wanted to hear to get closer to Angela. But how is that pretending if it's who you really are?

"It wasn't that he disrespected women - it's that he couldn't afford any emotional ties in his life, and no matter how clear he made his intentions, there was always someone pushing for more."How is that any different from what he said to Acosta?
Moving on.
I thought he was completely unprofessional and a douche. The moment he saw Angela he couldn't make out a coherent thought. His crotch was itching and his d!ck was twitching. It suppose to be an erotic love story! What kind of BS is that?
He is going to save her, by raping her. OMG!
He get's there, with no back up, in a foreign country, and manages to save her. It takes a week of f@cking her, but he gets the job done.

"It was the sacrifice they'd both make for her freedom."
"He was doing it to save her."

Here, I would have loved to read about him being more conflicted, about it feeling wrong. He had a few doubts, but then, he was all:
"He wanted to touch - to see if her skin was as smooth as it appeared, her hair as soft."
"He slumped into the chair he'd occupied the previous night, hell bend not to remembering the erotic encounters."
The dude finds rape erotic! WTF?
"Colin could see the allure in that for the first time in his life." Wow, just wow.

Anywho, he saves her and brings her to Scotland to reunite her with her parents. And the weirdest thing happens: suddenly, she doesn't know how to function in real world. What? She acts like she was kept in a cage for two years. She doesn't know if she have to crawl or walk, she doesn't know how to eat. She was walking around slave quarters and eating there just fine, but all of a sudden, she is lost.
You gonna say she was broken and didn't know how to function in real word, I will say BS. Both Marco, her owner, said that he wasn't able to completely break her, and Angela herself, has said that she didn't feel completely broken and knew what was what, and I didn't get the vibe that she was broken. So what the hell?

Yes, Colin found and brought his brother home, but he also completely failed to save him in every other way. If you've read the book, you'll know what I mean. I wouldn't be surprised if Angela would end up looking for comfort in the bottom of a vodka bottle too. Colin kicked the psychologist lady to the curb, because she was pressing Angela too hard. What a hero. She wasn't that great either, but still.

"I know this is going to be difficult, Angela, but I need as much information as you can possibly give me about what happened from the moment you were taken to the moment you were rescued. Can you do that for me? This kind of information will aid our organization to help others in similar predicaments."Uhm, excuse me, lady psychologist, one of "others" that you so desperately want to help, is sitting right in front of you. Why don't you start helping this one? How do you even got this job?

Back to Colin. This agent extraordinaire has some serious super powers that would make superman jealous. He manages to find Fernando (the guy that kidnapped Angela) and kill him in only 48 hours. The only thing he knows is that he was spotted in Thailand. Now, trip to Thailand from Scotland is a 10 to 12 hour flight. Population in Thailand is almost 70 million. He manages to find Fernando without breaking a sweat. The shop owner points him to some girls, one of them recognizes him from the picture, and next thing you know, he is shooting him between the eyes. 48h later "Honey, I'm home." Now that's a super power. Take that Clark Kent! It's unrealistic.
Author could have done a little research and the whole chapter would have been fine. Cole ended up looking like a Speedy Gonzales.

I know it's fiction, but what makes me connect to books and characters in them is that there is some amount of truth in them, even if it's just little things. I thought that the whole book was one unrealistic scene after the other, from the conversations between characters to descriptions of the situations they were in.

It's a no, no and no from me.
Even though I didn't like the book, I enjoyed reading and discussing it with my RB :-).