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LaLionne

LaLionne

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Absolutely hilarious. I'm sure it wasn't meant to be funny, but it was.

The Empress' New Clothes (Trade Paperback Erotic Romance) - Jaid Black

I really needed a good laugh. I got that and then some. 

I saw this book on a list of "guilty pleasures" on a blog and decided to give it a try, because I was curious to see what all the fuss was about. I did gave it one star, because the story had no plot and characters were ridiculous, but I don't regret reading it, because it made me laugh. 

 

If you would ask me to give you a summery of this book I wouldn't be able to do it if my life depended on it. But I will give you a summery of what *I* thought this book was about.

 

WARNING SPOILERS

 

Some king from another galaxy/dimension/planet, named Zor, travels to earth. Suddenly, he sees a woman with whom he feels instant and undeniable connection, and knows that she is his true mate. There is a moment where their eyes meet and she is paralyzed instantly by his stare. Literally. She can't move. Oh, then her clothes started suddenly flying off of her.

 

"Kyra gasped in shock as she felt her clothes coming undone. She shrieked as her shirt and jeans were ripped from her body by force unseen and went hurling through the air, leaving her totally naked in the barbarian men's presence."

 

Then, he sweeps her up and brings her to his galaxy/planet/dimension/whatever. She wakes up and he explains to her that they are husband and wife now, and how things gonna be from now on. 

 

The story has no plot what so ever, in my opinion. They get down and dirty from the second she wakes up in his dimension. Scratch that, when she wakes up, she finds him latched onto her nipple, fondling her 'you know what'.

 

"Kara gawked at the brazen man's audacity. He was asleep, yes, but even in slumber he was manhandling her. Hi mouth was latched onto her right nipple."

 

Later, he puts her in a... let's call it "a gown", called qi'ka. This "gown" is a see-through, so you can see her nipples that are ready too cut glass and her lady bits. He explains to her that that's what women here wear in this place.

Blah, blah, blah, let's go to the fun part.

 

I have read quite a few historical romance books, but the language in this one sounded a little bit made up. I'm not a native english speaker so you can correct me if I'm wrong.

 

"By the tit of the heeka-beast, you know how to kill a fair mood."

 


There is a lot of sex going on. A LOT. On every fucking corner somebody is fondling somebody, someone is sucking someone's nipple or screaming in ecstasy. I thought it was too much even for an erotic novel. 

Kyra have to have genteling ceremony with Zor's brother, Kil, because she needs to feel comfortable with him, if he dies one day, his brother will takes his place. So there is gazillion pages with his brother giving her tons of orgasms.

Long story short, everybody is fucking everybody. Every time they take a bath there are servants "serving" them. If you know what I mean ;-). But those moments, that suppose to be erotic, was so hilarious that my iPad fell on the food, I thought the screen got shattered, because I laughed so hard my whole body was shaking.

 

"I remember a performer last year who was able to bring ten warriors to their pleasure at the same time." At. The. Same. Freaking. Time!!!

 

But here is the part that almost damaged my iPad. Kyra gets pregnant.

 

"B-Babies!" Geri sputtered. "I thought she was dying! Why didn't anybody tell us you hatched eggs for babies around here?"

***

"Oh my god!" Kyra cried hysterically, clapping a hand to her forehead. "I'm laying eggs. Geri, I'm laying eggs!"

***

"Where I come from, women carry their babies nine months before giving birth."

"Nine months!" Kil grimaced. "By the goddess, the eggs must be exceedingly large."

"We don't hatch eggs."

***

"Milk?" Zor looked up from Zora, his brow furrowed. "What's this milk?"

"I said," Kyra repeated, "I don't have any milk in my breasts to feed the girls with."

"Yeek!" Dak shuddered, his lips curling in disgust. "I should prey to goddess not."

"By the sands, that is night unto disgusting."

***

"How will I feed our daughters then?"

"The same as they suckled from your womb before hatching. Sweet juice."

"Sweet juice?"

"Aye."

Geris's lips pinched into one of her famous scowls. "You mean that glowing blue junk that came pourin' out of her like something in a horror movie?"

"Aye."

 

I can't. I just... Just give me a moment to stop laughing and get myself together...

An In-Depth Breakdown of the Goodreads Fiasco

Mind blowing statistics. Thank you, Ceridwen. 

Uhm, no.

Landslide - N.J. Cole

***Hey, Daddy, here is 1 star for you***

DNF at 70%, because the story was going nowhere.

This senator guy is a total prick. I should have know it wouldn't end well for me. I mean, already on the first page, Loc fifty-freaking-five, he says:


''It was the most expensive restaurant in San Francisco, and therefor the location of my party.''

 

Ugh!
Things happened so fast I barely got what was going on. One minute he is shaking hands and thanking people for coming, and the next, this 18 year old thing shows up and says "Senator, I too have a gift for you upstairs." The weirdest part about it was the fact that her father stood right there and never even wondered what she meant by that. She knew him all her life (him and her father are best friends), but never had any kind of relationship with him. But forget about that for a second.

There is no buildup, no seduction. Few pages into the book he finds her upstairs, lying on a bed in his room.


"Don't you wanna tie me up and and fuck me, Senator Joseph?" Loc 168!!!


Is she a slut or what? Where are these skanky 18 year old heroines keeps coming from?
Senator is shocked for a moment, but couple of minutes later, he snaps out of it and gets down to business. "Get on your knees, little girl" and all that. Oh God.

 

- WARNING SPOILER - 


The sample alone had 51 daddies in it. I should have checked that before I purchased the book.
I would smack the hell out of a guy if he would ask me to call him Daddy, but I get the appeal. Who am I to judge if that's what you're into. I have to admit, rushed or not, at the beginning, daddy-thing sounded hot. But it got old pretty quick. Daddies just kept coming and coming (:-D). She called him "daddy" 144 times in the book.

They start this bizarre daddy-and-his-little-girl affair, sneaking behind everyones backs. He keeps it a secret because it wouldn't look good for his career, if anyone finds out, and also his best friend, her father, would castrate him, for spanking the sh!t out of his little girl on a regular basis. Isn't there some kind of unwritten rule between guys, that they don't f@ck each others daughters??? If not, they should have one.

Sex scenes were nothing new. It's the same thing over and over again. You read one, you read them all. And there is A LOT of them. The guy is like a Duracell bunny, always hard. In some scenes not even a minute goes by and he is:


My cock became rock hard again instantly.
***
Her swollen lips got me hard again instantly.
***
"I'm sorry it's over, but on the bright side," I said, kissing her ear and then whispering into it, "I'm ready again."


And she, Mackenzie, just kept coming and coming and coming. There were couple of gross scene, which I'm not even going to quote. Something about her lying in a pool of her own... whatever.
Don't even get me started on her fantasizing about Santa f@cking her at eleven years old. Then him, telling her to "come here, little girl and suck Santa's c@ck."


"Mmmmm, yes, Daddy," I moaned, wiggling my hips.
"That's enough of that, little girl. You have worn Santa's cock out." :-D :-D.


What kind of christmas stories were her father reading to her?

In the parts told from, Maxwell's, uhm.. Santa's, I mean Daddy's, no, Mr. Senator's... crap, Joseph's pov, author tried to portray Mackenzie as young, inexperienced and innocent girl. We are talking about the same girl who asked Mr. Senator to f@ck her only couple of pages into the story, right? Innocent she is not. I thought it was ridiculous. She is young, but she is also the biggest slut I have ever read about.
Five months into the relationship, he finally asks her to go out on a date with him. Wow.

But here is the disturbing part. There were couple of times where our Senator thought she looked too mature, too grownup, I don't remember his exact words. He thought the clothes she was wearing made her look older, and he wanted her to look younger. From the descriptions of her I got the picture that she looked like an 18 year old, but this sicko wanted her to look even younger. That is just sick.

I need to mention Mackenzie's father, Maxwell's best friend. He is a complete douchebag. I don't think it was author's intentions to make him look that way though. I thought his character wasn't very well thought out. He does have a good relationship with his daughter, but he is very inappropriate and completely clueless. He talks to Max about women, making all kinds of inappropriate jokes and comments, while his 18 year old daughter is standing RIGHT THERE next to them.
When Maxwell asks him if he can take Mackenzie to Paris with him, he says "Yes, sure". Remember, they are keeping their relationship secret from everyone, so the father doesn't know. Max says "She'll be bored here anyway, let her come to Paris with me." Mackenzie even books one hotel room on the phone, while her father stands and listens, saying "Well, I couldn't get two rooms on such a short notice." He never picks up on anything.
Here is why it was a problem for me. Mackenzie's father is the guy who provides women for Mr. Joseph. Because, you know, he is the Senator, he can't go looking for little girls to spank and f@ck, himself. So he does the dirty job for him. He finds women who are into the same things Max is, dresses them up like school girls and brings them to his door. I would call him Maxwell's personal pimp.
So get this, knowing that his best friend gets off on tying up and spanking little girls, he lets his 18 year old daughter go to Paris with him, without even giving a second thought. WTF?

But enough of this negativity, here is some good news: first time BUFU doesn't hurt. Ask Mackenzie. She thought it was f@cking fantastic :-D. Joseph was so amazing, that once, he just looked at her, told her to come, and she did. I'm not kidding. No touching at all. Couple of seconds later she was standing in the pool of something. How about that :-D?

There is a lot sex going on, but not much else. When they finally get out of the bedroom, all you get is this:


As much as I wanted to pull over and fuck her senseless, I wanted to get to know her more.

***
Our conversation was light, talking about our likes and dislikes. 

 

Well, I'm glad Mr. Senator got to know her, but what about me, the reader?

 

"This morning we'd toured one of the most prestigious art museums in the world and had intellectual conversations about the pieces," Ugh!

 

I'm not sure why, but this Max guy reminded me of Anthony Weiner. He just didn't know when to stop. Yuck :-S.

I did not like it at all.

Up back to Amazon it goes.

Reblogged from Dawid Piaskowski:
The Prisoner (Broken, #1) - Kol Anderson ***1 star***
description

It's a completely unrealistic story.
I couldn't stand the whining captive. I get it, a person in his situation is allowed to complain about being in sh*t over his head, but what annoyed the hell out of me was the fact that he was in disbelieve that captor was doing all those things to him. Like he owed him something. Why the hell not? You don't know that person, you don't know what he is capable of, why are you shocked?
And Vincent's watching him, watching him do this to me.

I got the impression that our captive had some kind of expectations of Vincent. He was shocked that Vincent let all those things happen. Why? Vincent is not his friend, not his brother or a boyfriend. He is a man who bought him for an hour of fun and then decided to kidnap him (or at least that's what the captive knew). Where did those expectations of him being better man came from. Vincent treated him like dirt all that time and he was: why is he doing this to me? Like Vincent not suppose to be doing that.
Completely ridiculous. One eye roll for every time hero opened his mouth. Gave up at 60%.
To Have (The Dumont Diaries, #1) - Alessandra Torre A little bit too fast paced and too short, but it grabbed my attention right away. I'm not sure what is going on with our H and h, but I'm curious to find out.
Slut of a heroine and douche of a hero. I'm not sure if I like them just yet. Since the story is told from her pov, you don't get much of background information on him. Actually, the is kind of person of a mystery. All you know about him is the fact that he likes to get sucked off in a front of an audience :-D. I like the fact that author dragged all the way to the end to reveal his name, and still managed to keep my interest.

I'm off to the next book to see what's the deal with that weird contract, and hopefully learn something more about our hero.
The Flesh Cartel #10: False Gods - Rachel Haimowitz, Heidi Belleau Holy sh!t! Uhm... No. This time Haimowitz took it a little too far. My eyes hurt and I wish to forget some part of the story. When I started the series I was afraid that author might go "there", but by the 7th installment I finally relaxed and thought "it" will not happen. Guess what? God, I really don't know where they gonna go from here. That's it, the damage is done :-(.

I didn't hate the book, but some part were just a little bit too gross and too disturbing for me. The story was disturbing enough as it was, in my opinion there was no need to take it that far.
Creep - Jennifer Hillier ***4 creepy, twisted and obsessive stars***

I liked the book. It's a good thriller, but I wouldn't call a psychological.
You have heroine who is a college professor and a sex addict, a student, who has a thing for her and a fiancé who is way over his head.
The beginning of the story was good. It's starts with her trying to end an affair with her student because she is getting married and it doesn't feel right. He doesn't take it very well and it brings a psycho in him. The treats, the blackmail... He puts not only her career in jeopardy but her relationship with her fiancé as well. He pulls some very nasty tricks on her.
I wasn't a big fan of her fiancé. I thought he was a hypocrite and a little bit of a drama queen.

I would have enjoyed the story more if it wasn't so predictable. I think the author revealed too much too early. I wish she would have kept some things from us readers and revealed them later. It still had a creep factor, but the mystery was gone. I think it would have been better with a fewer point of views.
If it wasn't for the twist towards the end I would have given 3 stars.

All and all, loved the writing and creepy and psychotic character.

Doing the Creep with Alex.
description
Rebecca’s Lost Journals, Volume 4: My Master (INSIDE OUT TRILOGY) - Lisa Renee Jones Boring. A lot of back and forward and never getting to the point.
I want him, I don't, I do, no I don't. But when his lips touches mine... Red! WTF?
Don't care much for heroines who have zero self respect. Moving on.

The Silent Wife - A.S.A. Harrison ***2 stars***
description

Out of respect for the author, who's no longer with us, I'll try to refrain myself from ranting like I usually do when I don't enjoy the book, and give only my honest opinion.


I saw this book mentioned in the article, when I was looking for a thriller to read. I was in the mood for something dark and twisted and stumbled upon couple of articles where this book was described as the "next big thing" and "this summers Gone Girl". But the thing that got me was this:

“With a spare, elegant, and deft hand, she paints two dueling psychological portraits of longtime live-in lovers who become putative killer and hapless victim in a tale that no one is likely to forget any time soon.

Sounds good, doesn't it?
Some of the reviews said it was just as good as Gone Girl, others said it was even better. So I dove in.

I personaly found this book extremely boring. It's a story about a relationship gone wrong. That's the only similarity to Gone girl.
There was very little dialogue. In some chapter there was no dialogue at all, apart from few lines of it when she was remembering something from her past. Imagine reading a whole chapter (16 to 27 pages) without a line of a dialogue. I found wife's character robotic and uninteresting. In the chapters told from wife's pov she goes on and on describing how she made dinner, washed the dishes, walked the dog, drove the car and endless descriptions of surrounding. Almost in every chapter her husband comes home and she says "Dinner is almost ready. Can you make drinks?".

Then we have her husband. He is pretty much the same. He comes home, eats and goes to bed, wakes up and goes to work. They never talk about anything interesting. They talk about her and his day at work, which I also found boring. He says he cares about her, but I never felt it. I felt no love or chemistry between them. Not even in the parts from their past, were they just started dating. You see that their relationship is falling apart, but I didn't feel the hate either. The story was lacking emotions from both characters. Give me something, hate, love, fear, heartache, sadness, something. There was nothing trilling or suspenseful about their relationship and this whole story. He is a cheating scumbag, and absolutely clueless to what's going on around him.

I thought the writing was monotonic. Even the parts where something happened, where I should have gone "WTH?", were describes in the same tone as her washing dishes or walking a dog.
I didn't like that the ending was given away on the first page, suspense and mystery went with it. A lot of her conversations with her shrink could have done with out. Except from one part, the rest was completely irrelevant and added nothing to the story. Same as her telling her husband about her clients or remembering her brother. I didn't understand how that was relevant.

I see that majority of readers enjoyed this book. I did not. I've read quite a few psychological thrillers and I don't see this book as being one. Yes, someone did die in the book, but it was written in a way that it didn't feel important or angsty. A psychological triller should take a reader on an emotional roller coaster ride, should leave you guessing all throughout the book. How can you do that if the ending is given away on the first page?

After I read the book, I felt tricked and cheated. For the life of me I can't understand why this book is being compared to Gone girl. It's simply a story about marriage gone wrong, that's all. The book description implies that it's a dark and twisted read, and it's not. I also don't get why the book is called The Silent Wife, they aren't even married.

But I know my RB Alex loved it. I'm sure she have plenty of good things to say about it :). Here you can read her review, if she ever decides to post one :-).

BR with Alex, aka Space Lover.
If you ask me for space one more time...
description
The Flesh Cartel #1: Capture - Rachel Haimowitz, Heidi Belleau It's official. The Flesh Cartel is the darkest and most excruciating mindf@ck I have ever read.
Now excuse me while run outside and take lap around the park screaming "I'm free! I'm alive" :-D.

Review to come...
Landslide - N.J. Cole ***Hey, Daddy, here is 1 star for you***
description

DNF at 70%, because the story was going nowhere.


This senator guy is a total prick. I should have know it wouldn't end well for me. I mean, already on the first page, Loc fifty-freaking-five, he says:
It was the most expensive restaurant in San Francisco, and therefor the location of my party.
Ugh!
Things happened so fast I barely got what was going on. One minute he is shaking hands and thanking people for coming, and the next, this 18 year old thing shows up and says "Senator, I too have a gift for you upstairs." The weirdest part about it was the fact that her father stood right there and never even wondered what she meant by that. She knew him all her life (him and her father are best friends), but never had any kind of relationship with him. But forget about that for a second.

There is no buildup, no seduction. Few pages into the book he finds her upstairs, lying on a bed in his room.
"Don't you wanna tie me up and and fuck me, Senator Joseph?"
Loc 168!!!
Is she a slut or what? Where are these skanky 18 year old heroines keeps coming from?
Senator is shocked for a moment, but couple of minutes later, he snaps out of it and gets down to business. "Get on your knees, little girl" and all that. Oh God.

- WARNING SPOILER
The sample alone had 51 daddies in it. I should have checked that before I purchased the book.
I would smack the hell out of a guy if he would ask me to call him Daddy, but I get the appeal. Who am I to judge if that's what you're into. I have to admit, rushed or not, at the beginning, daddy-thing sounded hot. But it got old pretty quick. Daddies just kept coming and coming (:-D). She called him "daddy" 144 times in the book.
description

They start this bizarre affair, sneaking behind everyones backs. He keeps it a secret because it wouldn't look good for his career, if anyone finds out, and also his best friend, her father, would castrate him, for spanking the sh!t out of his little girl on a regular basis. Isn't there some kind of unwritten rule between guys, that they don't f@ck each others daughters??? If not, they should have one.

Sex scenes were nothing new. It's the same thing over and over again. You read one, you read them all. And there is A LOT of them. The guy is like a Duracell bunny, always hard. In some scenes not even a minute goes by and he is:
My cock became rock hard again instantly.
***
Her swollen lips got me hard again instantly.
***
"I'm sorry it's over, but on the bright side," I said, kissing her ear and then whispering into it, "I'm ready again."

description
And she, Mackenzie, just kept coming and coming and coming. There were couple of gross scene, which I'm not even going to quote. Something about her lying in a pool of her own... whatever.
Don't even get me started on her fantasizing about Santa f@cking her at eleven years old. Then him, telling her to "come here, little girl and suck Santa's c@ck."
"Mmmmm, yes, Daddy," I moaned, wiggling my hips.
"That's enough of that, little girl. You have worn Santa's cock out."
:-D :-D.
What kind of christmas stories were her father reading to her?

In the parts told from, Maxwell's, uhm.. Santa's, I mean Daddy's, no, Mr. Senator's... crap, Joseph's pov, author tried to portray Mackenzie as young, inexperienced and innocent girl. We are talking about the same girl who asked Mr. Senator to f@ck her only couple of pages into the story, right? Innocent she is not. I thought it was ridiculous. She is young, but she is also the biggest slut I have ever read about.
Five months into the relationship, he finally asks her to go out on a date with him. Wow.

But here is the disturbing part. There were couple of times where our Senator thought she looked too mature, too grownup, I don't remember his exact words. He thought the clothes she was wearing made her look older, and he wanted her to look younger. From the descriptions of her I got the picture that she looked like an 18 year old, but this sicko wanted her to look even younger. That is just sick.

I need to mention Mackenzie's father, Maxwell's best friend. He is a complete douchebag. I don't think it was author's intentions to make him look that way though. I thought his character wasn't very well thought out. He does have a good relationship with his daughter, but he is very inappropriate and completely clueless. He talks to Max about women, making all kinds of inappropriate jokes and comments, while his 18 year old daughter is standing RIGHT THERE next to them.
When Maxwell asks him if he can take Mackenzie to Paris with him, he says "Yes, sure". Remember, they are keeping their relationship secret from everyone, so the father doesn't know. Max says "She'll be bored here anyway, let her come to Paris with me." Mackenzie even books one hotel room on the phone, while her father stands and listens, saying "Well, I couldn't get two rooms on such a short notice." He never picks up on anything.
Here is why it was a problem for me. Mackenzie's father is the guy who provides women for Mr. Joseph. Because, you know, he is the Senator, he can't go looking for little girls to spank and f@ck, himself. So he does the dirty job for him. He finds women who are into the same things Max is, dresses them up like school girls and brings them to his door. I would call him Maxwell's personal pimp.
description
Knowing that his best friend gets off on tying up and spanking little girls, he lets his 18 year old daughter go to Paris with him, without even giving a second thought. WTF?

But enough of this negativity, here is some good news: first time BUFU doesn't hurt. Ask Mackenzie. She thought it was f@cking fantastic :-D. Joseph was so amazing, that once, he just looked at her told her to come and she did. I'm not kidding. No touching at all. Couple of seconds later she was standing in the pool of something. How about that :-D?
description

There is a lot sex going on, but not much else. When they finally get out of the bedroom, all you get is this:
As much as I wanted to pull over and fuck her senseless, I wanted to get to know her more.
Our conversation was light, talking about our likes and dislikes.
Well, I'm glad Mr. Senator got to know her, but what about me, the reader?
This morning we'd toured one of the most prestigious art museums in the world and had intellectual conversations about the pieces,"
Ugh!

I'm not sure why, but this Max guy reminded me of Anthony Weiner. He just didn't know when to stop. Yuck :-S.
description
I did not like it at all.
description
Up back to Amazon it goes.
Love and Fire (House of Temptation, #1) - Miranda J. Fox ***1.5 viagra-for-women-it-is-not stars.***
ARC provided by the author in exchange for my honest review

The book description got me thinking it could be a fun read, so I dove in, all exited :-).
description
It's a novella so I wasn't expecting something deep and meaningful.

The beginning was fun. We have two women about to go in into a swingers club looking for some spice and excitement in their lives.
Heroine's friend is a whore-extraordinair, which doesn't have to be a bad thing. It's cool to have a friend that dares more than you :). But, I didn't like that her friend offered her a pill, before they went in. She called it viagra for women.
description
Now, if the idea of going to swingers club doesn't get you all hot and heavy, and you need a pill to "get you in the mood", you shouldn't go there and you most definitely shouldn't be taking any pills.

They get inside. It's a swingers club, a place where all kinds of kinky f@ckery should happened. I have never been in one, nor have I read about one, I was curious to read about how things work there :-). Unfortunately, from the descriptions, I didn't feel like they were in a swingers club. Peoples clothing was described, the signs on doors were indicating it was a SC, but still, something was missing. It felt more like a museum.

The club is owned by a filthy rich, most desirable and gorgeous 24 year old guy. Does he sound like anyone you know ;-)?
James Carter was the wealthiest and most sought after bachelor in the city. As soon as he turned 21, he inherited a fortune which he started investing in strip clubs. A year later he founded a dating center specializing in bringing prostitutes and their customers together. And two years after that a House of Temptations, a combination swingers club and disco.
Wow.
I was disappointed that author brought me there but didn't show me any action :-). The only things our heroine did there was go up on a stage and got sprayed with a perfume by our main male character, and then took a shower.
What was that thing him spraying perfume on her saying "play along" all about anyway? That's the best that he could come up with? It's a swingers club for crying out loud!
Then she ran off of the stage, because all of a sudden, she had a need to take a shower. It's not like she was swinging all day long and needed to wash... uhm... swingers off of her. Why don't just go home and take a shower, if you feel so dirty? You can't take a shower in a swingers club and expect not to get groped :-).
He fallows her into the showers and they do all kinds of fun groping there :-). But they don't do more than that, because she freaks out and runs off. The shower scene was alright I guess.

And then, nothing interesting happens in the rest of the book. She goes to charity event, which her firm have organized. Of course he is there. Of course he donates substantial amount of money, his extracurricular activities aside, he's not heartless prick, he cares about kids. They have a lot of awkward conversations, where she doesn't know what to say, or how to answer his questions, she is all in disbelieve that he is interested in her. Of course he dug around to find information about her. Of course she shocked. How dared he? Then he floods her work with flowers and threatens that they'll keep coming (apparently there are 3 more trucks with flowers waiting outside) if she says no to a date with him. Ugh! Christian Grey and Ana Steele all over again.

The book didn't left me wanting more. I felt like the story needed more substance, characters felt one dimensional and uninteresting.
I found some of the descriptions a little weird. For example:
James was two heads taller than she was, even without shoes.

One more thing, lack of spacing between paragraphs was very tiring. I felt like I was running out of breath while reading. It made it difficult to keep track of what was going on. Lack of spacing between dialogs didn't help the case either.
At some point she finally fell asleep. Two weeks later things were back to normal in Emma's life.
Did she slept for two weeks straight?

"Why?" "Because you're injured (...)"
***
"Why is he leaving without you?" "I'll go later,"

It's only couple of examples, there were a lot of similar ones.

Thanks to the author for providing me with a free copy, but I'm sorry, I did not like it. The book description premisses a lot, but the story itself doesn't deliver. I felt neither love or fire while reading it.
Me Before You - Jojo Moyes ***5 fun, beautiful and heartbreaking stars***
description

To say I loved this book would be an understatement. I love when already few pages in you know it's going to be good, then you can just sit back and enjoy the journey.

This wonderful book is full of life lessons. It's a book about finding love in unexpected place, and about finding yourself along the way. This story makes you look at life in a completely different light, it teaches you not to take even smallest things in life for granted.

description

The story wasn't all sad, it had a lot of bright and funny moments. I absolutely loved heroines kookoo family, especially her father :-).
I liked that their relationship had a rocky start and developed slowly. It felt natural and not rushed.
I also liked the fact that there were multiple points of views, we get to know what's going on in the heads of people around them.

It seems that author did a lot of research on certain things in the story, which is always appreciated. I think that's why it was so easy to connect to the characters for me, they felt real and their struggles felt genuine.

I already said that I loved the book, but I'm still not sure how I feel about the ending. I like when character grow throughout the story, that they learn thing about life, each other and themselves, that they change for the better. I understood what she learned. But what did he? I am both agree and disagree with the decision he made. At the same time that is what was so great about this book for me, I can talk about it and discuss it for days :).

To those who are yet to read this book: have tissues in a reachable distance ;-). The ending was very sad, but it didn't make me into a sobbing mess like I was expecting. I think I cried all my tears out when I read Broken by Megan Hart, that's why the ending of this book didn't came as such a big surprise :-).

All and all, loved it, the characters and the story. Definitely a memorable book. I put it on my "favorite" shelf without a second thought :).
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It's happening!
Buddy read with fabulicious Rosalinda and Anⓐ RiTa.
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Talk Dirty To Me - Jack  Greene ***1 I'm-yet-to-hear-someone-talking-dirty stars***
DNF at 60%. It's a novella and I still couldn't finish it.


It was pornish, whiny and boring.

Our main male character, Adam, is a lawyer, single guy who feels that there was always something missing in his relationships. It's implied that he is some kind of kinkster, with a taste for something extra, but never said what.
Upuntil now he've been only with women, but he always thought about how it would be to be with a guy, just never acted on it. One day, he pep talks himself up and decides to call a hot line (Seriously, dude? That's how you want to come out of the closet?). And it gets more ridiculous after that. He asks for a specific guy, the one he saw a picture of on their website. The guy is a whore personified. Their conversations are sleazy, boring and just meh.
He stared at the picture on his screen. "Hi, Casey," he finally said.
"You asked for me specifically," Casey went on, sounding pleased.
(...)
Casey laughed, almost a giggle. Adam was entranced by it.
"Yes, it's really me," he said. "You like that? You like me?"
"Oh, God. Yes, so much," Adam groaned. "You are like my fantasy."
Oh, Lord.
The rest of the story goes on just like you would imagine. Yeah, take your boxers off, now touch your big... A lot of groaning and moaning. Whatever! Phone call ends and Adam thinks it was the best orgasm he have ever had. That is just sad. He calls back again and again. Casey keeps calling him baby, sexy and sweetie. After awhile Adam wants to meet Casey. They meet and the first thing Casey says is:
Casey's eyes widened. "Adam? Og my God." He smiled and turned even prettier. "
"That bad?" still stunned by Casey's beauty. The picture didn't do him justice.
Casey gasped. "Of course not! Why didn't you tell me how handsome you are?"
I DNF-ed it right after.
A lot of "oh my god, you are so pretty, sexy, handsome, baby, touch this, touch that, you like that don't you" stammering and being lost for words.
Meh.
Unteachable - Leah Raeder ***3 forbidden stars***

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Here is the thing. I loved the book for the fact that it was a hard-to-put-it-down-er, it's fast paced and brilliantly written, I read it in one sitting with only a short nap in between :-). But, and it's a big but, I had one huge issue with the story, which was a deal breaker for me and the main reason for me giving 3 stars. I'll get back to it.

- - - WARNING, MAJOR SPOILERS AHEAD - - -

Maise:
Loved her at the beginning. She is funny, gritty and sarcastic. She is smart (for her age), but she is also a girl with a lot of daddy issues that f@cked her up big time, and sometimes, she doesn't know her left foot from her right foot. She jumps from one older guy to another, looking for love in all the wrong places. That's how she meets Evan.

It's all fun and games at first, until it's not. They have a lot of good moments, fun conversations and oh-so hot encounters. Until... Until they find out that he is a teacher and she is his student. It's still fun, the secret glances, barely-there touches, the stolen kisses and secret meetings... Maise is over the moon, it's exiting.

Evan:
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Now this one is an exotic fruit, who has barely legal girl fetish. The younger, the better. I know it sounds sick, but that's how I saw him. He has a history of getting involved with his students. What? You say it was only two girls? I say it's two girls too many.
I liked him at first. I actually thought that as wrong as their relationship was, it was sweet, romantic and fun. Until his secret came out about him getting involved with a 17 year old student in his previous job. I wanted to kick myself for like him.
"I had a relationship with a student," he said.
(...)
"A highschool girl," I said.
"Yes."
"How old?"
He sighed, long and deep. His shoulders had a concave, defensive arc. "Seventeen when it started. Eighteen when it ended."
(...)
"She was infatuated with me. And I made a huge mistake in returning it."
No shit, Sherlock!
After this, I couldn't look at his character the same way, and all of their previous encounters didn't look fun, romantic or hot anymore. I saw him as a man abusing his position to get his rocks of with a young girl.

Wes:
In the middle of all that we have Wes. I absolutely loved him, even more so after he showed his movie. His character sparked quite a discussion amongst my GR friends, which was fun :-). I came to a conclusion that if you love Evan and Maise, you will hate Wes, and if you love Wes, you will hate Evan and Maise :-).
I thought he used his project as a last resort to show Maise how wrong her relationship with Evan was. Yes, his method was a bit harsh, but desperate times called for desperate measures. It was said that he betrayed their friendship and humiliated her. I thought he did no such thing, because of the way he made his movie. Only those involved knew what that movie was about. It's not like he revealed to the whole class that she was sleeping with her teacher. Plus, he gave her numerous opportunities to come and talk to him, which she did not. Maise wasn't without a fault either. She lied to Wes over and over again. He opened his heart and his home to her, introduced her to his family who embraced her with open arms, and that's how she repaid him? While she was getting cosy with his mother and sister, she was lying her butt off, and Wes knew that. If you were in Wes's position and a friend was doing something like that to you, how would that make you feel?

Bottom line:

Maise kept saying that she learned a lot from her relationship with Evan. What exactly did she learned?
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At the end Maise was the same Maise I met on the first page: a girl looking for attention from older man, because she haven't gotten that from her father. Is that why this book is called Unteachable?

I would have given 5 stars if it wasn't for the fact that Evan had an affair with 17 tear old student. That made him look like he has a pattern of seducing his students, made him look like an old pervert with taste for young flesh. I also hate the fact that they end up together. I don't believe they were in love. I saw them as two people with a lot of issues using each other to fill the void that other people in their lives left. I can easily imagine Evan after couple of years drooling over yet another of his students, because Maise became too old for him. He did say that her being young is the big part of why he liked her. What happens when she gets older? I'm sure he will go looking for another young thing.

All and all, I loved the writing, it was fast paced and hard to put it down. I'll defiantly be reading the next book by this author.

Thanks for reading it with me, Alex. Good times :-).
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